today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
