I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
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