i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
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