Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
