I think scott just propositioned me for sex
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
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