yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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