Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
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