4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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