Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
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