At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
