Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
