Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Randomize
