so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
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