If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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