The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
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