Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
