we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
