i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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