Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
