It's like a parade of train wrecks.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Randomize
