I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
