I need help removing her.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I just blew my weed a kiss
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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