I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Randomize
