ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
