I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
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