omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
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