Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
