2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Randomize
