Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
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