3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Randomize
