I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
