you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
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