We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Randomize
