I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Randomize
