Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
