I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
