You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
