I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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