Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
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He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
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Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
These tits shall not be calmed
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