If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize