i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize