dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
