It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
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He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.