By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
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