I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
