Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Randomize
