I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
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