Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
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