Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
