You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Randomize
