somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize