It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
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I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
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I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.