so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
