Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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