What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Randomize