they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
she pinky promised me she was 18
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
Randomize
