he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
