i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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