DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize
